Overheard #551

April 20, 2008


Next table, staff canteen of a local hospital. Not the most romantic lunch date venue.


Mid 20’s, shirt and tie yuppie-wannabe sort.

Young Lady:

Late teens/early 20’s, intern/rookie sort.


Man and Young Lady are seated diagonally across from each other at a 4-seater table. They are done with the meals, as evidenced by their empty but uncleared dishes. A throng of lunch-crowders are waiting for them to vacate their table but Man appears oblivious though he sits facing them.

It is not apparent if Man and Young Lady were acquainted before the meal or if they just happened to share a table. They are deep in conversation.

Or rather, he is deep in conversation.


Man is going on and on about football – the difficulties of certain crosses, set pieces, tactics and positions and all that stuff. Young Lady is nodding politely, adding a “hmm…” or a “yeah…” along the way so that it isn’t too obvious that she already knows all that or is bored out of her mind. It does not seem too far of a stretch to imagine that she is cooking up a way to end the conversation.

I gather that Man had learned that Young Lady is interested in football and thought that her, being a young lady, probably did not know more than the very basics of football and thus it was his manly duty to educate her.

At one point of the conversation:

Man: My favourite team is Liverpool. My favourite striker is Steven Gerrard. My favourite defender is …

I did not get to hear who his favourite defender was because I was laughing my guts out. Of course, I couldn’t laugh out loud. This was a no-frills canteen with tables placed two inches apart. I would have been laughing pretty much into his face. And that would be rude.

I did not have to hear the rest of the conversation. Those two lines right there captured the essence of it. It was not the content of those lines, but the spirit in which they were delivered.

If the conversation is summarized in print…

Man, 25, seeking Young Lady for friendship/relationship.

I am a good-looking and adventurous high-flyer. I love football and I love talking about football. My favourite way to spend the weekend is to snuggle up on the couch with a hottie and watch EPL matches. My favourite team is Liverpool. My favourite striker is Steven Gerrard. My favourite football snack is Twisties. If you are a gorgeous young lady who wants to have a good time and learn all about football, call me at 9-LIVE-FAN. Remember, with me, YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE.

*guts fall out*

Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect to Liverpool F.C., its staff, management and players, Mr. Steven Gerrard or any other Kopite.


4 Responses to “Overheard #551”

  1. olymatt Says:

    I have seen similar looks from my wife when I talk football. I was in an Oxford pub next to a woman possessed a knowledge of football surpassing that of Andy Gray or Wikipedia, take your pick. She looked like she did NOT have a boyfriend so there is hope for this doctor to find his soul mate.

    Is Gerrard a striker? If so, my favorite defender is Dirk Kuyt.

  2. zigzagza Says:

    If so, my favourite football team is the Yankees.

    And he was no doctor.

  3. miss ene Says:

    This guy is sounds like he is

    (1) nervous out of his brains
    (2) in love with his own voice talking about football
    (3) a loser
    (4) all of the above

    Did you see the young lady roll her eyes? Because I would probably would have done that if I was in her shoes 😀

  4. zigzagza Says:

    She was too polite. But like I said, she appears to be hatching an escape plan.

    He was definitely not nervous. It appears that he is really really in luuurve with football, Liverpool and Mr. Gerrard. And oblivious to the fact that his conversation partner does not feel the same.

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