Mid-20’s Crisis

You know, it’s that thing that causes you to nurse a cup of tea or bar of chocolate or bowl of ice-cream and wonder, “What the hey am I doing with my life?”

Then you turn on the telly and some 15 year-old is winning an Olympics gold medal and someother 12 year-old made it to Juilliard and you wonder, “What the hey have I done with my life?”

Then you think, “Maybe I need a new job”. Then you pick up the classifieds and it’s all dullness and receptionist and peanuts.

Then you think, “Maybe I should get married”. Then you look over to your partner and he’s got his nose glued to the monitor, well into his 8th consecutive hour of some online RPG. And he burps. And you think, “Maybe not”.

Then you think, “Maybe I should go further my studies”. Then you do a quick search for some college in some nice place, make a note of their tuition fees, compare it with your bank balance, and conclude, “Maybe not again”.

Then you tear your hair out, go brew yourself another cup of tea, get more ice-cream, put on some make-up to try and feel better, start a sombre life-changing talk with your partner which descends into a “But how would I know what you want” or “But what’s wrong with your life now?” clueless argument and he concludes, “Darling, I think you’re going to have your period” and you scream “You insensitive booger-for-brains no-good pasty-white *beep*”.

Then you eat more ice-cream, topped with more chocolate and have another cup of tea.

Then you dump booger-brain, enroll for that college you can’t afford, pack your bags and get on that flight.

And your period is nowhere near.

That’s how you know you got the mid-20’s crisis.