Oral Hygiene

In the interest of oral hygiene, I very bravely tried out the tree bark toothbrush I picked up at Mustie’s last night.

I say very bravely because, the moment one opens the vacuum sealed product, its scent assaults one’s olfactory receptors. I don’t know why I did not expect it to smell of something or other. There were hints along the way. First of, tree bark usually does smell of something or other, right? Also, on the package, it indicates that the product comes in “natural and other flavours”. That usually means that the product does not smell pleasant naturally, hence the need for “other flavours” and that natural is for masochists only.

Strangely, the package does not indicate if this particular product is indeed natural or flavoured. I’m going with natural because the package colour is a neutral khaki-beige. Industry standards dictate that flavoured products be wrapped in eye-piercing psychedelic colours.

In all my excitement, and I blame shopping at Mustie’s for that lingering high, I was blissfully oblivious to all hints and hence was caught off-guard by the scent. And I do use the word scent because I can see how it can be acceptable to some people. And I should be the last person to judge that cos lots of scents unpleasant to others, I love. Scents like eucalyptus and menthol.

Anyway, the toothbrush has a sharp and pungent raw-y smell. Like a cross between horseradish and fresh tree sap. Scratch and sniff *here*. Just kidding.

Well, it’s not something one would usually put in one’s mouth. And especially not first thing in the morning. No, make that not any time of the day. And it looks exactly like a little branch someone cut off a tree. Instructions say something like “Scrape off half inch of bark from either end. Chew until it comes apart and bristles form. Brush.”

So I bravely did exactly that. Keyword being bravely. Perhaps if I was more awake, I would have chucked it right into the bin. But I didn’t. And brush I did. Or rather, I tried. The taste, thankfully, was nowhere near as bad as the smell. The problem, really, was the bristles.

You see, the bristles are at the end of the toothbrush the way a paintbrush is. So that makes brushing kind of awkward, doesn’t it? And it’s hard not to smell something that’s right below one’s nose.

I gave up after half a minute. It’s still Oral B and Colgate for me.